Tag Archives: Youth

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3 Kinds of Students That Leave Christianity After High School

The words that no Christian parent or youth leader ever wants to hear

I just don’t believe what you believe anymore….These are words that no Christian parent or youth leader ever wants to hear. After this bombshell hits and the shockwaves subside, we wonder if something could have been different. What happened to this student who was so active in church growing up? After all, they never missed youth group. Sadly, this scenario is not the exception. Approximately 50 percent of students will disengage from their faith after they leave home.


While students have to ultimately choose whom they will follow, I think there is a lot we can do to reverse this trend. First, we need to better understand the students who leave their faith behind after graduation. As I’ve worked with high school and college students over the years and studied the research, there are three basic kinds of students that leave Christianity after high school.

The Christian Relativist

To understand this first type, meet Jennifer. Jennifer grew up in a Christian home and regularly attends church. Over time, she observes a lot of her friends and older Christians in her life saying one thing, but living another. The takeaway? Christianity is (more…)

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Cotton Candy Christianity

I’ll never forget the first time I encountered cotton candy.

There it was in all of its colorful and sugary glory at an amusement park. The attendant was circling the bowl to make this humongous ball of cotton candy. My mouth was watering. It looked amazing!

cotton-candyAnd then…I bit into it. And there was literally nothing to it! It had no substance. It evaporated in my mouth. I was so disappointed!

To this day, I’ve never bought another cotton candy for myself (yes, I did give in and buy it for our kids once, but they quickly realized their snack dollars were better spent elsewhere!).

Lesson learned. Appearances can be deceiving!

The more I reflect on it, the more I think that’s what’s going on with much of what is called ‘Christianity’ today. It looks really good and uses the right buzz words but then there’s nothing to it. Not much substance and it simply evaporates.

A Generation of Almost Christians

We are raising a generation of almost Christians. I think that explains some of the numbers we are seeing when it comes to youth. Yes, some students do walk away from the faith (about 50% disengage from their faith during the college years and many don’t appear to be coming back). But honestly, some never really had a substantial faith to begin with–that was there’s anyway. They didn’t own it.

Kenda Dean, author of Almost Christian observes:

“A significant part of Christianity in the United States is actually only tenuously Christian in any sense that it is seriously connected to the actual historical Christian tradition. It is not so much that U.S. Christianity is being secularized. Rather, more subtly, Christianity is either degenerating into a pathetic version of itself or, more significantly, Christianity is actively being colonized and displaced by a different religious faith.”

I see this first hand when I work with students and parents. And this breaks my heart.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be almost Christian.

God has called us to more than Cotton Candy Christianity.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2

This year let’s do something about that together. Let’s pray. Let’s dream. Let’s think. And then let’s act.

[Tweet “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be almost Christian.”]

In the days ahead we will be talking about how to do that.

Your Turn: What do you dream for this year when you think about your spiritual growth?

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Training young people to develop a Christian mind is not optional

As Christian parents, pastors, teachers, and youth group leaders, we constantly see young people pulled down by the undertow of powerful cultural trends. If all we give them is a “heart” religion, it will not be strong enough to counter the lure of attractive but dangerous ideas. Young believers also need a “brain” religion — training in worldview and apologetics — to equip them to analyze and critique the competing worldviews they will encounter when they leave home. If forewarned and forearmed, young people at least have a fighting chance when they find themselves a minority of one among their classmates or work colleagues. Training young people to develop a Christian mind is no longer an option; it is part of their necessary survival equipment. – Nancy Pearcey

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Are Boys Failing? Or Are We Failing Boys?

My friend John Stonestreet of The Point has some helpful commentary about the state of boys in this culture:

“In a recent Washington Times piece, Janice Crouse argues that our culture is so centered on helping girls succeed that it’s destroying boys. The result is a generation of “male losers” who are less educated, less successful and less respected than their female counterparts.
“Casual observation of popular culture,” writes Crouse, “reveals that boys and men increasingly are being portrayed negatively, in contrast to women, who invariably are seen as more competent, efficient, successful and in charge.”
Stats show that boys are expelled from preschool at four times the rate of girls, that girls dominate the valedictorian rolls, take more Advanced Placement courses and graduate high school at shockingly higher rates. And while many colleges are relaxing their entrance standards for men, there are now…” (read the rest) 

It’s time to step up….here is a place to start.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” – 1 Cor. 16:13