Tag Archives: Wisdom

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How Facebook Changes Teen Dating

Flirting, dating, breaking up, getting back together, and how quickly people find out about all of the above happens much faster than it used to thanks to social media and facebook. Here are some interesting observations from a recent study:

Seventeen Magazine recently conducted a study amongst their readers. The results, I think are very interesting to our parent readers. The study polled 10,000 guys and girls ages 16 to 21.

Here is how the romance process on Facebook goes:

1. Adding a new crush as a friend = 1 week after meeting (79% of teens)

2. Stalking their new crush’s profile = Once per day after adding them as a friend (60% of people, but 40% check in on their crush several times a day).

3. Deciding to date = 43% of girls would decide not to date someone based on their Facebook profile, compared to 33% of guys.

4. Deciding to announce their new gf/bf = 17% of guys don’t share their status, compared to 12% of girls. (50% of girls get a kick out of the status change — one-third of guys agree; 24% of guys find it unnecessary, compared to 17% of girls.)

Want to know a great verse on dating?
“He who walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm.”–Proverbs 13:20
If this is true in the friends we choose, how much more so in those that people choose to date? Choose wisely.
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6 Ways to Protect Your Kids on YouTube

2 billion videos viewed every day around the globe on You Tube…24 hours of new content uploaded every minute…how can we wisely engage this medium? Found a helpful article at Covenant Eyes:

YouTube Tips for Parents

In a “broadcast yourself” culture, parents are in a unique position to help the Internet generation guard their eyes and hearts.

  1. Establish a YouTube account for yourself – It is both easy and free to sign up for an account. Simply go to YouTube.com and click on the “Create Account” link in the top right-hand corner. You will be asked a few details about yourself, including a date of birth. By stating you are over 18 you will be able to have access to all of YouTube’s content, including content not available to minors or those who don’t have an account. Make sure you guard your password so no one else can access your account.
  2. Monitor YouTube – Make sure your underage kids have not lied about their age and created their own 18+ YouTube accounts. Check your kids Internet history, or better yet, use good Web accountability services like Covenant Eyes to see which YouTube videos they view.
  3. Restrict YouTube – Cris Logan says, “We know that 79% of a child’s access to inappropriate content occurs right through the home. If a parent is doing their job with regard to parental control and filters, the likelihood of their child accidentally coming across pornographic material will be significantly reduced.” YouTube has created something called “Safety Mode” to help parents to better guard against adult content. While this is a good precaution, it will not catch all inappropriate content and can be circumvented with relative ease. That’s why it can be helpful to go with software solutions, like the Covenant Eyes Filter, that can selectively filter inappropriate videos.
  4. Get to know YouTube – Cris Logan recommends parents start surfing around on YouTube, see what this video sharing culture is like for themselves, “and be ready to have an open dialogue—an ongoing dialogue—with your child regarding what they’re seeing, what they’re doing with this site.”
  5. “Flag” videos and teach your kids about flagging – Beneath each YouTube video is a small flag icon. When logged into your account you can “flag” a video you deem inappropriate. Usually YouTube staff will review this video within an hour or so. As you use YouTube, train yourself and your teens to be good cyber citizens and call out videos that do not meet the Community Guidelines.
  6. Have fun with YouTube – There are thousands of videos on YouTube to enjoy. As you come across these videos, you can make them one of your “Favorites” in your account. Perhaps you will want to create an account for your teen (YouTube account holders who are 13 to 17 years of age do not have access to all the videos on YouTube). You can then start creating a catalogue of these favorite videos for you and your family to enjoy.

To hear the whole interview with Cris Logan about YouTube, visit the Covenant Eyes blog, Breaking Free.

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The battle against the sexualization of our children

As a father of two, I am ever aware of the challenges that our culture presents our children. Here is a helpful article by Vicki Courtney discussing some of these challenges and what we can do about them:

American girls are increasingly being fed a steady diet of products and images that pressure them to be sexy. From clothing to cartoons, choreography to commercials, the emphasis on sexuality undercuts parents’ efforts to instill purity in their daughters.

The American Psychological Association (APA) warns that this sexualization of girls is harmful to their self-image and healthy development. “[Girls are] experiencing teen pressures at younger and younger ages. However, they are not able to deal with these issues because their cognitive development is out of sync with their social, emotional and sexual development,” the APA reported.

The proliferation of sexual images also undermines a girl’s confidence in her own body. In fact, research links sexualization with three of the most common mental health problems diagnosed in girls and women — eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the cultural influences bombarding our daughters.

Suggestive fashion
Have you shopped for girls’ clothing lately? Toddlers to teens are inundated with adult fashions. Pop singer Beyonce now has her own clothing line that introduces the red-light district to the school lunchroom.

Popular clothing items among teens include thong underwear and shorts displaying suggestive words across the backside. The abundance of racy clothing emphasizes the message: Dress sexy.

Tarted-up toys
As young girls, most moms probably owned Barbie dolls and enjoyed collecting their clothing and accessories. Mattel today takes style to a new level with the introduction of Black Canary Barbie for adult collectors. Designed as a comic-book character, this doll is dressed in fishnet hose, a leather bikini bottom and a black leather jacket. She’s available in toy stores, right next to Ballerina Barbie. Explain that to your preschooler. (More….)

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Should I Set Moral Boundaries?

YES!

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”—1 Cor. 6:18

“We all would do anything (even extreme things) to undo bad choices we have made morally. So why not be extreme now in our personal standards and boundaries so that we don’t have to face those painful consequences?”- Andy Stanley

What are my boundaries in dating? With my conversations and relationships with the opposite sex (if married / if single)? With what and when I watch TV and use the Internet?

Remember….Someone will set your standards if you don’t.